I need relationship help

"Bandit" (2bandit) 05/05/2014 at 15:06 • Filed to: None

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You lot are all I've got. Here's a car.

So I've been dating this girl for a couple weeks, I was practically forced into the relationship by my friends because the girl really likes me. She's really nice and at least shows some interest in stuff I like, but I'm just not that interested in her.

Today I find out from another girl's two friends that girl number two really likes me. I don't know girl number two as well as girl number one, but girl number two is really nice and very cute. A while back, I wanted to ask girl number two out but she had a boyfriend at the time.

Also, I'm going to have to break up with girl number one within a month or two because she is moving and I refuse to try long distance stuff. If I break up with girl number one to date girl number two, my friends will think I'm a dick. I also still want to remain good friends with girl one.

Help me oppo, I'm conflicted. What should I do? What would you do in my situation? I've never had two people like me at once.

Brian Silvestro > Bandit 05/05/2014 at 15:08

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Mattbob > Bandit 05/05/2014 at 15:09

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break up asap, and wait an appropriate amount of time. This gets the clock started on the amount of time you should wait before you aren't a dick, and opens the door for the other girl to know she has a shot. You don't need to wait until she moves if you aren't into it.

For Sweden > Bandit 05/05/2014 at 15:09

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Also, I'm going to have to break up with girl number one within a month or two because she is moving.

She may be planning on ending it with you when she moves. You should probably discuss what happens when she moves.

Taubitz > Bandit 05/05/2014 at 15:10

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Just break up with girl 1, say its because of her moving away.

Start talking to girl 2 but dont formally date her right away to avoid looking dickish.

midengineer > Brian Silvestro 05/05/2014 at 15:10

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Brian Silvestro, bringer of wisdom.

Bandit > Brian Silvestro 05/05/2014 at 15:10

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If only... I've already thought of that and I'd rather my life not turn into a sitcom.

RacecaR > Bandit 05/05/2014 at 15:11

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Be honest and up front.
Who are you worried about making happy? You, or the first girl/your friends?

The year before I started dating my wife, I bounced from one girl to another. Some I made cry when I broke up with them, some were okay with it and found it to be amicable, some were very pissed and yelled at me in public (we worked at the same place...AKWARD!). But I did it because I wanted to make myself happy. And I am glad I did, or I never have gone out with my awesome wife. If I worried about the other person's feelings over mine, I would probably be married to some horrible shrew and hate my life. Don't be that guy.

Bandit > Mattbob 05/05/2014 at 15:11

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This is not a bad idea...

mpa-burner2 > Bandit 05/05/2014 at 15:11

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Your friends should support what makes you happy, as long as it isn't something that is destructive. If you simply tell them "Hey, girl #1 is really sweet, but I just don't feel it, plus she'll be moving away, and I don't want a long distance thing" they should understand. And if they actually like or care about girl #1, they should be happy to know you are truthful, and that girl #1 deserves to be with someone that really enjoys her.

Go for girl #2 - if they're really your friends, they'll understand.

Bandit > For Sweden 05/05/2014 at 15:13

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Yeah. I thought about that. Thinking of just breaking it up and just telling her it's so there isn't a more awkward situation when she moves and that we should remain friends until that happens.

Brian Silvestro > Bandit 05/05/2014 at 15:14

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You sure? It's already pretty funny about the car.

Lumpy44, Proprietor Of Fine Gif > Bandit 05/05/2014 at 15:15

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1. Stop bring so handsome or this problem will get worse, 3 or 4 girls might like you even!

2. Create Firebird questionaire that girls will be graded on.

3. As any Smokie and the Bandit questions and if she can answer any of them put a ring on it.

Merkin Muffley > Bandit 05/05/2014 at 15:15

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the fact of the matter is that someone is going to get hurt, but you can do what you can to minimize it. If you aren't happy in your relationship, end it, but don't be a dick about it. You should then explain to girl two that you are interested in her, but you have just broken up with girl one, who is moving in a month, and it would be dickish to just immediately jump in to a new relationship immediately, so suggest that the two of you take things slow, easy, and casual until after girl one moves.

Spoon II > Taubitz 05/05/2014 at 15:15

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Agreed, and if your heart's not in it with girl 1 it'll probably be better for her anyway. I'm sure you treat her nicely anyway though. She'll understand the moving thing, so it should be a fairly easy let down.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > Bandit 05/05/2014 at 15:16

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well, you can always be friend with your ex, just make the break up "Not too hard" for both parties

Get it?

Mattbob > Bandit 05/05/2014 at 15:16

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on a side note, your car is not even complete and you are already drowning in women. Look out for when it's done man, you will have to fight them off.

Jayhawk Jake > Bandit 05/05/2014 at 15:17

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Be honest with everyone. Tell #1 that you aren't interested and you think you should go your separate ways, go date girl #2.

Your friends might think you're a dick, but at least they won't think you're a liar

Diesel > Bandit 05/05/2014 at 15:18

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Get girl one pregnant and marry girl two.

Lekker > Bandit 05/05/2014 at 15:20

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Well for one, long distance sucks bawls. Ask my how I know. 8 months a counting... shit.

I would talk to her in a friendly caring way, just say you understand she is moving and ask what she plans to do. Just make sure you get across that you want to end it, because if she gets the feeling you want to try at all, she will hang on to it.

In regards to the second girl, I would start by getting to know her for a long while before making a move. that way you knock two birds out with one stone, and by the time you know her better some time will have passed so you won't seem dickish.

ttyymmnn > Brian Silvestro 05/05/2014 at 15:24

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Approves.

For Sweden > Bandit 05/05/2014 at 15:25

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Since no one else is saying it, I'll reiterate my main point: discuss this with her. As in a conversation. Don't just make ultimatums.

Bandit > Mattbob 05/05/2014 at 15:27

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Hey, it's not on a gold streak. The only girl my car got me before was a chick who turned out to be a lesbian.

JGrabowMSt > Bandit 05/05/2014 at 15:27

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Just don't be a dick about it. Hindsight is 20/20. You're the baddie in this situation no matter what happens.

My strongest suggestion is to stay friends with girl #1. You're dating now, aren't you? Are you unhappy?

Listen, I made a mistake by not asking a girl to wait for me. It sounds stupid, somewhat naive, but if you're going to be adults about it, be honest. Don't line anyone up. You're dating, not married. You can have lunch with girl #2, the world will not implode. Be honest that you're in a relationship, she's moving, you've got a car in paint, and things are complicated. If she wants to have a relationship, she will understand. If you're talking to a friend of girl #2, be honest, and ask them about it first, they'll know what the answer is, and they can tell you whether it will be worth trying.

Don't be desperate though, that's just stupid. Really really stupid.

My situation is a whole different ballgame from yours, but if I could have known in any capacity what would have happened to my girlfriend, I would have asked her to wait for me. She had a very bad relationship that I wish I could have prevented. You're not in that situation, so just know that you have things easy.

Bandit > Lumpy44, Proprietor Of Fine Gif 05/05/2014 at 15:28

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I know at least one more girl likes me but she is kind of a whore so she isn't in the running.

Meatcoma > Bandit 05/05/2014 at 15:33

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Date em both, let the chips fall where they may.

Takuro Spirit > Brian Silvestro 05/05/2014 at 15:47

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Figured it'd be posted, but then I found this and lol'd.

Brian Silvestro > Takuro Spirit 05/05/2014 at 15:49

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boobytrapsandtreasure > Bandit 05/05/2014 at 15:57

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Break up with #1 pronto. Tell her you like her, want to remain friends with her but you can't risk things getting too serious before she moves away. Tell her it would be unfair to you both if that were to happen. I would chill for a week or two then approach #2. Tell her you just broke things off with #1, that you don't want to hurt #1 even more by asking another girl out too soon BUT you have been interested in her (#2) for a while and you would like to get to know her better over dessert/coffee.

Bandit > boobytrapsandtreasure 05/05/2014 at 16:08

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I think we have a winner. This sounds logical and in line with what other guys said

Mercedes Streeter > Bandit 05/05/2014 at 18:59

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Hope I'm not too late here. I've been in a similar situation myself and honestly the only option is to break up with Girl #1.

I got my first ever girlfriend back in February of this year (I'm 21. Yeah, I'm a late bloomer, deal with it). It will be marked as the worst dating mistake I've ever made. I forced myself to like her like she liked me. I really had zero feelings for her. If anything, I found her repulsive.

If you have no feelings for girl #1, let her go.

Unfortunately, no matter what you decide, you'll be a dick in someone's eyes. But it's better to let her go than to continue with a relationship you really don't want.

Get to know girl #2 before you get too deep...don't want to make the same mistake twice.

Good luck!!!

John Norris (AngryDrifter) > Bandit 05/05/2014 at 22:33

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1. You don't know what you want.

2. Because of #1 there isn't a wrong move here, as long as you are honest with all involved.

3. Getting into a relationship is always fun, getting out of one not so. That's part of life for all involved.

4. #1 is not an issue. EVERYONE has been in that position. It's not an issue unless your like 50, and you're still orbiting there.

5. If I'm wrong and you do know what you want, then get on with it.

BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires > For Sweden 05/06/2014 at 02:41

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I like this idea. You'll have to play it well, but this is a good one.